My Diary: Mixed emotions

This something I wrote recently. My diary has been misplaced actually since I have come back to Bombay. So out of my old stuff what ever I will keep coming across I'll keep udating it here. Simultaneously, I will be adding whatever new excerpts I write. This write-up is basically the struggle of a broken heart trying to deny still bein in love with the person who has broken it. It is a blend of confused emotions, broken promises and a longing to find love again.

I'll Never Know

I often sit and wonder how real is love and the conclusion is always ?uh huh? ?umm? ?err?. It?s funny how we all talk about love and yet don?t know for sure how true it is. In some cases love is the basis of everything in life, those I guess are the ?lucky few?. For love I say has never been true to me. Is it my bad luck or maybe I am just not lovable enough?

Time and again I ask myself, will I ever find love or worse still will love ever find me? Has my heart surpassed the need for love; after all the pain it caused, for all the nights that I cried myself to sleep or for all the times that it hurt so bad within I thought I?d never survive? Can that be a possibility? My mind repeatedly brings back those past memories of ache and upset. Frequently forcing me to ask myself- was it just that I was with the wrong person or did it just seem so real because it never actually was?

I guess I?ll never know the answers to these questions but I always mange to come above them. I manage to smile and feel good about myself and about love, however ironic that may sound. Because in my heart I will always know that through all the tears, even if just for a moment, the both of us --- had it all..................

Good Day People !!!! God Bless!! Love and Regards, Aarti Kapoor!!